Why thanks, Captain Obvious.

Crocheters - at least the ones that I know – are an intrepid band who follow their own muses.  Sometimes, this results in something that is -as we said growing up in Maine -  “wicked cool” and sometimes you end up with something that should never, ever have been made.  Here’s hoping that this one doesn’t end up in the latter category. 

Firstly, the decision to make a toilet paper “cozy” came from a discussion with my boyfriend about needing to stash a roll in the bathroom somewhere but frankly, the old “doll with a toilet paper cover for a dress” thing never really appealed to me.  (Between you and me I think going under a doll’s skirt to get something “hidden” is kind of creepy.) 

Further, I think that the need to “hide” a roll of toilet paper seems unnecessarily…what’s the word…discreet?  Modest?   Whichever word you want to use I think we all have an understanding that toilet paper is a fundamental necessity. Nevertheless, to prevent the need for house guests to have to shout their toilet paper needs down the hallway – I give you this:

 

The “Toilet Paper “Toilet Paper Cozy – or “T.P. Tee-Pee”

Pattern Notes: I use the double rolls as a rule, so that’s what I used in creating this pattern. Feel free to size to a larger or smaller roll by adjusting the amount of beginning rounds for width and last rounds for height.

 Materials:  One roll of toilet paper for sizing purposes, Less than 1 skein of worsted weight yarn in white (the cheaper and stiffer the better, kids) and a small amount of tan, brown, or putty colored worsted weight yarn.  

Hook: 4.0 (G) 

Notions: A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men, and you will cherish your yarn needle for weaving ends in.

Start with your tan/brown thread and switch to white when your rounds are large enough to be about the size of the tube.  For me, it was at about round 4. 

Ch 2.

Round 1 – 6 sc in 2^nd ch from the hook. Do not join.

Round 2 – 2 Sc in each sc.  Join, and Ch 1

Round 3 – 1 sc in the first sc, 2 sc in the next sc. Repeat until you come to the end. Join, ch 1

Round 4 – 1 sc in each of the 1^st 2 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next Repeat until you come to the end, join ch1

Round 5 – 1 sc in each of the 1^st 3 sc’s, 2 sc in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch1

Round 6 – 1 sc in each of the 1^st 4 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch 1.

Round 7 - 1 sc in each of the 1^st 5 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch 1.

Round 8 - 1 sc in each of the 1^st 6 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch 1.

Round 9 - 1 sc in each of the 1^st 7 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch 1.

Round 10 - 1 sc in each of the 1^st 8 sc’s, 2 sc’s in the next. Repeat until you come to the end, ch 1.

Round 11 - In the back loop only, work evenly (1 sc per each stitch)

Row 12 – End  Work evenly (1 sc per each stitch) until the tube is as long as the toilet paper roll, then do one more. You can join as above, but I chose to just work in a spiral until it was long enough.

 

Take your work so that your tube is held horizontally and the open end is to the right.  Now, it’s time to squeeze the Charmin. 

This will reveal a ridge of stitches at the top of your work.  Insert your hook in the closest one to the tube opening and use it to make a sc.  Repeat from the open end to the closed end (Row 11- where you worked in the back loop, remember?) 

 Ch1, then turn.

Using the row of sc you just made, make three more rows of sc, ending back at the open end.

 You’re done! 

Weave in your ends, insert your toilet paper roll and put it in the throne room! 

Goonies never say "Die."

I am a child of the 80’s through and through, which means that I have been around long enough to see leg-warmers, oversize sweatshirts, and jelly shoes come back around.  I remember being excited about them at the time but  seriously, those fads should have been put down like a zombie when MTV was still worth watching.

 

Here’s my tribute to what was good about the 80’s – The Movies, and The Goonies among them.

 

The “Truffle Shuffle”  Skully –

 

If you don’t remember (or never knew) what the truffle shuffle is…go here.

 

Otherwise, grab your hook.   This is our time. 

 

Props:  This pattern was inspired by this one with a few tweaks to make it easier. (If that’s possible.)

 

Pattern Notes:

 

My son has a pretty big head, so this should fit an average guy.   If your guy is above average, adjust the length of your chain accordingly.  This pattern would also work with chunky yarn (Class 5) or double stranded worsted.  Just make more rows! 

 

Materials:

 

One skein of “super chunky”  (Class 6) yarn.  For this hat, I used "Hometown America", purchased at AC Moore for less than $5.   Size N hook.  Yarn needle with an oversized eye or you may be able to use a smaller crochet hook for weaving your ends in.

 

Ch19.

 

Row 1 – HDC in 3^rd chain from hook, and continue 1 hdc in each chain to the end.  Ch 2, turn.

Row 2 – WORK IN BACK LOOPS ONLY, hdc in each stitch to the end.  Ch 2, turn

 

For the remainder of the hat, repeat Row 2 until there are enough rows to fit around the recipient’s head with just a little stretching – not too much.   Fasten off, leaving yourself a long tail. - About 18” should do it.

 

Using your yarn needle and the tail you left yourself: sew the first row and the last row together so you have a tube.   Then, sew the closest end of the tube together by moving in and out of the stitches so the ends gather evenly toward the center like a drawstring bag.  Fasten off.

 

Weave your ends in.  Turn it right side out.  Voila!